Kirklees’s Merry (Bin)Men Go Rogue

November is the coldest month, isn’t that how the phrase goes? For the good people of Kirklees we do believe it is so. Due to what the council have ever so reluctantly described as ‘operational issues’, thousands of residential wheelie bins lay cold and neglected by the wayside this Winter without a jacket or set of socks betwixt them.

What began as contained instances of domestic wheelie bin neglect soon grew into a district wide epidemic, with residential wheelie bins absolutely engorged to the teeth on household waste all the way from Meltham through to New Mill and Thongsbridge – from the meadows of HD9 and down endlessly through the recesses of time. At the time, ‘significant operational issues’ were the only given reason as to why more than 4000 wheelie bins hadn’t been collected. In what has been described by some as 2017’s worst kept secret, it has now, eventually, ultimately transpired that there was indeed a walk out by the bin collection services, though as of today the council have refused to say why, reports tell us only that between five and ten workers refused to finish their shift one day last week. Clocking off early for a trip to the pub – or shades of something more sinister, perhaps? Corruption at the highest level of the Kirklees waste department? Who can say? For some reason not the council.

At present neither Unite nor Unison (both major unions at the council) have been unable to confirm if they are involved, begging the question: why? If this were a justified and pre-arranged strike action one thing that is assured is that these bodies would be vocal. With everything taken into account, the logical assumption here is that the walk out is an isolated act perpetrated by a merry band of rogue bin men. Highwaste men. Vagabins. Makers of mischief singing rosily from the treetops as grey wheelie bins lay forgotten on the pavement below.

Oh, the Maiden of Haydock was ever so fair!
With a song in her hand and her scent ‘pon the air.
Alone now she’s wondered with ‘nerry a care..
Oh the bins? They must wait now, just wait ‘till we’re there.

*This may or may not have happened.

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Kirklees’s Merry (Bin)Men Go Rogue

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