It may shock you to hear, but writing this blog can occasionally be a bit of a struggle. It seems that despite being such infinitely fascinating subjects, people don’t tend to write many compelling news stories about wheelie bins. It’s an appalling and surprising state of affairs, as I’m sure you’ll agree. But, ah…who could forget the summer of 2010? The summer where we reached the summit of wheelie bin related news: the blisteringly dramatic standard to which all subsequent stories must sullenly compare themselves. The summer where 45-year-old Mary Bale became a national hate figure, after CCTV footage of her dumping a cat in a wheelie bin for no apparent reason went viral.
The mystery! The drama! The vitriolic fury! It really had it all. All bin news is just a footnote to Mary’s moment of deliciously irrational malice. This week the Daily Mail recalls the Watergate of the waste world, further underlining the troubled relationship cats have with wheelie bins. It reports that poor pet owners- Sophie Worster and Sarah Young- were forced to trawl through wheelie bins after the corpse of their beloved cat, Zelda, was thoughtlessly dumped in one by Colchester council.
Zelda was already a late cat when encountered by the council gardeners, so their actions can be chalked up as thoughtless rather than outright malicious. Still, you can’t read the description of a ‘cat squashed at the bottom of the bin’ without also hearing the sound of pitchforks being sharpened across the UK. A spokesman for Colchester Council apologised for the ‘deeply regrettable’ incident, before changing his name and moving his entire family to Argentina.
Onto more positive news, last week a Glasgow wheelie bin played the hero, averting catastrophe by breaking a man’s life threatening fall. A source told the evening times ‘to survive a fall like this is nothing short of a miracle.’ An unverified source quoted the bin as saying, in an unaccountably American accent ‘well, shucks, ma’am, it’s all in a day’s work.